#tldr im sick but recovering

[realbeefman]

Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

[karin-miyoshi]

Do you think yuyuyu is ableist?

sheesh, talk about a loaded question

definitely opens up a lot of rabbit holes. ill give my opinion, but note im not the most educated on the subject itself so giving a definite answer is outside my scope.

ill put a read below, but for me, i personally think it isnt, but can be easily misinterpreted as is on a surface level.

tldr, ableism is discrimination towards those with disabilities.

the character in question most of the time when it comes to these topics is tougou, who uses a wheelchair in season 1 due to losing function in her legs. there are never any distasteful jokes made about this, and the show constantly shows various handicap friendly services throughout the show. something even more surprising is that these are never the core focus of the scene or pointed out, its always well integrated into the world as if it were normal (important).

just skimming through s1, we have:

wheelchair assistance integration for both cars and stairs

special swim courses for the disabled, not separated from the rest of the class

beach wheelchairs and separate assistants

now while we can assume a lot of these were due to her previous service as washio sumi, i dont think that would really be fair to the production team putting these in, and it really feels like theres a lot more heart than "yeah we put these for the big shock value realization later on". even after regaining function in her legs near the end of the season, tougou's priority was always towards yuuna and her recovery.

onto the next topic, which is the show taking away and then returning these characters functions throughout. whats important to consider here is what is considered tragic, is it the characters living without these certain functions, or is it the act of losing these functions themselves?

"It'll definitely improve. I mean, we haven't done anything wrong." (Fuu, s1ep9) again, no distasteful jokes made about their disabilities, and fuu even plays it off with her sick eyepatch. her worries instead stem from the loss of itsuki's dream, in the form of her no longer being able to sing. thats the key factor here, being punished for doing what is right, losing the ability to do what you could do before, losing the memories of the time you spent with your friends. (thats another thing i see with a lot of these arguments, they always bring up physical disabilities, but ive never seen one actually talk about ones regarding memory, arguably the most precious thing to them). tougou flat out doesnt remember sonoko at all despite being comrades in arms before, and understandably freaks out that the same might happen with her and yuuna.

now, understandably, the ending to s1 seemed super rushed, and them getting their bodily functions back seemed rather sudden. this put a lot of people off, and was really only explained in s2, which many didnt watch.

people should be allowed to grieve if they lose something important to them, and should be allowed to be happy if they get it back. personally, i dont think people realize the weight of their words when they say, "oh i wish karin wouldve stayed deaf, itd be really cool to see the club members learning sign language for it" or "yuuna in a wheelchair was really cute, i wish we saw more of it." yeah its a cool idea i guess, maybe something to see while theyre stil recovering, but forever? in a chase to see more representation, i hope they realize what they are wishing onto others eventually (even if fictional). while many with disabilities are satisfied with their life, they should be able to wish for better if they wanted to, its not like theyd wish their circumstances on anyone else, right? shouldnt the same apply here, to the girls who've actually lived both with and without disabilities?

just my two cents, hope this wasnt too hard to read! theres a lot more i could write up, especially regarding sonoko, but thats a whole other discussion i should probably save for another time

[ankhisms]

To quote my coworker: "today is probably going to be the worst day of work we will have in this entire season of work" and boy howdy. Today sucked ass

As a warning ill be mentioning throwing up in this so just skip to the end if u dont want to hear me even mention that 👍

Anyway. Started out the day having to drive THEE WORST truck in the entire park district where i truly think that truck is not safe for anyone to drive and i had a panic attack because of how bad trying to drive it was- not one of the worst panic attacks ive had in my life but it still sucked and set the mood for the day

The thing about today is that okay. Genuinely this was not a case of workers being exploited. Our boss was working right alongside us and working just as hard if not harder than all of us. And he kept asking if we were okay or if we wanted to take a break, kept reminding us to stop to drink water every 5-10 minutes. But we basically worked 6-7 hours non stop today in the 90 degree F heat plus humidity without any shade. And the reason why we had to do this was we planted over a thousand very rare important native prairie plants in our prairie restoration and we have been preparing to plant these for WEEKS and if we did not get all of these plants into the ground and watered properly today they wouldve died and we wouldve wasted thousands of dollars (buying the plants) as well as all of the weeks of hard work we did to prepare for planting. We NEEDED to get it all in or else it wouldve all died.

We were short handed because one of my coworkers unfortunately had a really serious family emergency and so she wasnt able to be in at work today so it was really all hands on deck. However i ended up pushing myself way too hard and because of the medicine i take i overheat easier and am prone to heat exhaustion/heat sickness and so i got overheated and threw up twice- which i almost NEVER throw up and you know something is really wrong with me if i throw up. But my coworkers and boss are all so very kind and worried about me and as soon as i threw up they were like ok rey youre done working for now we will take over you need to go lay down in the truck with the ac blasting and drink water you NEED to rest. And because of that i was able to recover and i mean im still fucking whiped out but i dont have to pass out right now yknow. They were very attentive to me and did not at all make me feel bad they were asking how i was and then when we were done we finally were able to get lunch around 2 and our boss bought us all a shit ton of really good ice cream.

So yeah tldr insane day at work i worked for 6-7 hours straight no break in the 90 degree heat but i did it TO RESTORE OUR BELOVED PRAIRIE. And tomorrow i will be back out there. Planting again but this time in the shade and MUCH less plants

[c---crow]

the descriptors "accidental and kind of complicated" have me intensely curious. 😳 if that's ok and/or something you could explain in a post

this is gonna be a long one!

cw: talking about weight, unhealthy food habits

ok so i'm on medication that reduces my appetite and i've been on it since high school. as a teenager life was very hectic so i neglected to feed myself most of the time and didn't realize how much weight i had dropped and literally just didn't notice/ignored it. i became underweight, not on purpose, but because there was so much going on in my life that i didn't pay any attention to my own health and because my medication suppressed my appetite.

my weight stayed pretty low until like 2 years into college, well after i had started T. i would try to work out and gain some muscle but because i wasn't eating nearly enough, it didn't do much in terms of muscle mass. i also had a massive fear of public gyms because of some bad social anxiety. i also didn't have the mental energy or appetite signals to think about my diet.

fast forward to first semester of my third year of college, i started dating my partner. he powerlifts and noticed pretty fast how terrible my diet was, so he helped me get on track to eating more and eating better

unfortunately i got horribly sick with bacterial bronchitis. like terribly sick. hospitalized multiple times. doctors kept trying to treat me for VIRAL bronchitis because it's more common than bacterial, but the corticosteroids for viral bronchitis treatment can suppress the immune system and actually ended up worsening my condition. i was sick for over a month before someone gave me antibiotics. in total i was completely out of commission for 2+ months, and even after i was no longer infected, my body was Fucked

during those 2+ months of illness and recovery after, i gained A Lot of weight because given enough food, i gain fat very quickly if i am sedentary. luckily my body also converts fat to muscle very quickly, so i've bulked up quite a bit. im recovered now, my immune system has also recovered, i eat better, and i work out. i'm on a schedule now for eating so the lack of hunger signals doesn't make me forget

tldr medication made me underweight until i got really fucking sick and gained a lot of weight which then converted to muscle pretty fast bc of genetics and i have better habits now to maintain my weight

[cheolhub]

this is kinda personal so feel free to ignore this. i just kinda want to communicate and explain how i’m feeling before i disappear lol — there’s a TLDR at the very end

i have really severe trust issues and those stem from a lifetime of living with liars and having “friends” who ruined me as a person.

kosmo was my friend and i shared a lot with them and for me to find out they’re a minor makes me physically ill (i actually threw up). i didnt read their entire post so i didnt know until it recirculated on my dash—i do NOT support minors interacting and invading the space of adults. i dont appreciate them especially invading my space at all bc like i said, i shared a lot with them unknowingly. (call me stupid, its fine bc i really feel like an idiot)

anyway, my anxiety is horrible as is and i was just starting to feel better about, you know… being alive and whatnot and this really just took so much out of me. i know i don’t necessarily seem like im sick in the head bc i joke about everything, but this is my SAFE SPACE and im HAPPY here and it feels like that was robbed of me. i really feel so incredibly shitty and disgusting and i dont think i did anything wrong but it feels like i did sgsgdv and i personally feel the need to apologize for being so weird abt it (and i need to apologize for my lack of reading skill bc i literally missed the entire part that said they’re a minor 🫥 go sar!!!! ur sooooo smart!!!)

um so im going on a break to recover and work on healing because tumblr doesn’t feel like that safe space anymore. and maybe i’m overreacting— i tend to do that sometimes— but this entire experience is a little too familiar for me and i don’t like that im reliving it.

i love you all very much, and i will be here to celebrate mingoo birth when the time comes (bc i adore him like no other) but i may not be interacting as much. (if u know me at all, u know that i’ll probably be back very soon just because i love talking abt cheol) but yes goodbye for now, sorry this is so weird :<

tldr; im just taking another short break from tumblr (ill be here for mingyus bday tho)

[gh0stswh0re]

Omg I've heard bunny health can be a tricky thing, im so glad your boy is okay 😭😭😭😭 when my pets are sick i literally want to vomit it's so stressful 😭😭😭 I just found your blog and love all your writing, definitely don't feel bad about a posting schedule especially when bunny is recovering

i feel u, i literally get worried sick whenever my pets are even slightly ill. just two weeks ago, i had to take my senior dog to the vet and she's perfectly fine now but seeing how in pain she was that day broke my heart ://

bunnies, rodents in general, are hard to care for actually!! a lot of people tend to think they are beginner/minimum care animals but not only do they require lots of care/a strong social bond, the medical stuff gets insane sometimes. their tummies are super sensitive, and my boy actually got sick literally overnight. he was perfectly healthy the evening before and in the morning he was just so lethargic. i called the vet and i was almost crying by then, because he showed all the symptoms of gi statis but she told me most of the time it's just mild stomach problems and i should just clean him up - which i tried, but i was so worried i just called back and took him to the vet station. i bawled my eyes out in the waiting room, idk why.

we got some meds, and he was still very tired the next day but got gradually better in the next two days. i was still kinda stressed out from what happened and was overthinking, like what if it happened again, etc. he's doing completely okay today and we stopped the meds!!

it's kinda funny, because i am a vet tech and i should know some stuff but i literally panic my ass off everytime lol.

TLDR: ur local ghostie hoe hyperfixates on rodent health. THANK U SO MUCH THO BABES, I LOVE U <33

[strange-creachure]

so..

didnt want to make a huge deal of it at the time bc anxiety and what have you, buuut since yesterday marked 2 full months from this thingy (perhaps most impactful in my life so far lol), figured i'd do a little post anyway?? felt appropiate what with it being pride month and ya know :zoomies:

(tldr, have two rad little lines going across on my body and feeling more light and normal (in the best kind of way) than i have for years :catlove:)  i'm in an incredibly lucky place living situation wise (s/o being in a position where he could take a loan for us, and finland being a country that doesnt generally indiscriminate these kind of things as much) where i could get a good ol operation that single-handedly yoinked off my serious dysphoria and -related anxiety and its been (and still is) so incredibly freeing and pleasant and carefree vibe when ur body feels and looks the way you felt it should have always been. especially when, (tw: dysphoria) increasingly for the past couple years its felt just so incredibly.. wrong? to an extent you felt constantly sick?, for reasons you cant even quite explain?, for features your biology imposed on you without any word on your part, and the societal norms or whatever that came with it??? and just.. the entire lack of choice or being unable to do anything about it?? absolutely worst. do not recommend. unfortunately a fairly common experience in the lgbt circles (that i keep hearing) and something a lot of people have to deal with, unfortunately. so in a very stark comparison, post-op and recovering and just /living/ without those restrictions or weights on ya, it's pretty freakin rad. having authority on the silly little meat vehicle again haha. (recovery wise feel entirely normal and well by now, just the whole 'having a both physical and very taxing mental weight off of the shoulders that i'd not realised how long its been there' has had me feeling very childlike joy and the like, yknow. maybe some of u could tell from the text brrrr nyoomies for a while now huhu :zoomies:) dunno if this is "too personal" or unnecessary or kinda silly to share, but kind of jus wanna put it out there in case there's the odd person in there who feels the same way, incredibly awful for reasons you cant quite explain or even grasp - i promise you're not inherently broken or "wrong", there is a reason for it, gender or neurodivergency wise or otherwise. it sure took me a while, and while it's an unique road for everyone, u can get there, one way or other. for example im more comfy with my brain funnies than i've been in years just from reading more and getting to know likeminded people and overall understanding things better, and that alone has helped me a lot. dont necessarily feel the need to transition anything further body wise either; dont consider myself a trans person, and dunno what kind of label or tag would even fit my gender other than just?? kind of vaguely nonbinary i guess?? since im just.. omee? default person shaped? and for the longest time, it feels good and normal and /right/. dunno. wanted to share the excellent good vibes despite this whole mess of a world situation lol. #textwall #manywords  happy pride y'all! every single one of you friendshapes is very important and appreciated ❤️

for context! i'm huge fan of people who are happy with their bodies; its the best possible place to be! and such, want to confirm I dont have and never had anything against female chest in general, im genuinely glad some people can carry themselves with pride and joy, it simply wasnt a concept my brain could accept for me; personally they looked and felt really wrong on me, despite being physically healthy and "normal"; nothing were wrong with my pre- chest shapes except them residing on my body.

[gltzgghln]

chronic illness jibberjabber

i wish eating low fodmap didnt require effort. executive dysfunction and wanting a bunch of free time to make art or play games really makes me want to just sit down and get easy food for flavor and filling me up even tho i'll get a flare up right after. ik its not an excuse and i feel like ive been using it over n over again. its not that i dont want to recover or that i want pity for being sick, i just want to enjoy my favorite foods while i work on my hobbies that i want to put into a future career

i also returned to college a week ago so my options for "foods that won't make you shit and still taste good" are. a bit thin. unless i put in the damn effort

and i honestly might have some internalized ableism about what i need to eat n feel well. like that i'll look like some quirky almond mom just because i dont want a flare up every day. i think of myself like how some (not all!!!!! not all) lactose intolerant people and people w ibs will eat whatever hurts them and i'll feel like a tough guy but then when im hurt by what i eat i'll hate myself for "purposefully" triggering a flare

tldr i need an elimination diet and make cooking a part of my routine to improve my gut health but i havent started yet cuz i just wanna sit down and use all my time up w my hobbies and chores that i know are simple but feel very Big bc audhd

[3liza]

im sure someone already told the tiktok user but i didnt see anyone else write about pigeon rescue yet, but if anyone else is curious (tldr: yes its ok to pick up a pigeon from the ground, but there are caveats):

feral city pigeons are not wild birds anywhere in the world, they are tame, domesticated livestock, like a cat, dog, or a chicken. they are just feral after being lost or released into human areas many years ago, where they are able to survive by scavenging. they can be made into pets after being rescued just like feral dogs and cats

you can just pick a pigeon up off the ground and keep it. it is, ethically, totally ok. pigeons' lives in cities are nasty, brutish and short, a pigeon will almost always be happier and suffer less as a pet than a feral. pigeons do pair bond so you may be leaving a pigeon spouse somewhere out there in the world but pigeons can form new pairbonds just like people.

lots of people have pet pigeons, they enjoy being pets, and they do great with people. please do lots of research with pigeon fanciers (fanciers are people who keep pigeons) about how best to provide for your pigeon. there are considerations like vet care, nutrition, and cage size and type, and possibly needing another pigeon to be with

there are some zoonotic illnesses in feral pigeons that are transmissable to humans. they are mostly pretty safe to pick up and touch, unless you are immunocompromised or pregnant. but even if you are healthy, dont put the pigeon in your mouth and wash your hands before and after handling. its possible for people to be allergic to pigeon dander or to get infections from infected pigeon dust. i personally do not think a pigeon is on average dirtier or more infectious than a dog or cat, just use basic hygiene and vet care and your chances of getting sick from pigeon handling is almost nil.

the main way to keep small rescue animals alive is WARMTH (the second most important thing is hydration). this is so true that even people doctors have a saying, and that is: theyre not dead until theyre warm and dead. you can bring all kinds of hopeless cases back from the brink of death with a hot water bottle. just make sure that the animal can get away from the heat source too, hyperthermia can kill them just as quickly. put the heating pad, heat bulb, or hot water bottle in one corner of the enclosure and make sure the animal can walk away from it to a cool area by themselves, to regulate their own temperature.

many many feral pigeons have parasites, both internal and external. humans arent in danger from most of these parasites. if you pick up a sad pigeon from outside he may have bugs on or in him, including mites and ticks. sometimes bugs can get on you if you are handling birds who have been living outside. dont freak out, just be aware of it. there are treatments for these but it's one of many reasons to:

keep any rescue animal away from your current pets and in a nice dark soft space (the cat carrier in the video is perfect) that can be cleaned easily. keep cat and dog-contaminated items away from birds, carnivores carry deadly bacteria that can kill birds quickly.

take the pigeon to an avian vet or at the very least to a rehabber or pigeon keeper asap and get an examination and advice. pigeons are not wildlife and are not of concern to wildlife agencies but they might be able to recommend somewhere to get instructions from.

it is really sadly true that pigeons who are so sick that theyre trying to get indoors or arent afraid of people are often already in such bad shape that they will not recover, or may get better for a few days and then die suddenly (this is every small animals' favorite joker's trick and its just something you get used to after youve rescued a lot of animals). but if the pigeon had a warm nest and clean food and water for a few days before it died thats ok too. you can give a small rescue animal its best shot at survival by keeping stress and handling to a minimum until it has some time to adjust. tiny animals love to just have a heart attack and die and if that happens to an animal you tried to help, its really not your fault. just be aware going in.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTd7qaqgV/

[practicalillusions]

PSA

So hey I was gone for a long ass time, and not really by choice.

So I’m pretty sure I have Celiacs, and let me tell you how i came to that conclusion.

Hurricane Irma hit me last week and it wasn’t anything more alarming that power out for a few days tbh. Problem is, after the power came back on I ate food and for some reason it sat terribly with me. Severe acid reflux I had to stay up all night for, tums was doing jack shit, bread was doing jack shit, I even tried apple cider vinegar (and got relief for about an hour but then it came back). So basically for the past week I’ve been living off of crackers and plain bread cause that’s what all the acid reflux and GERD sites tell you to do, and I was getting worse. Few days ago I was feeling a little ok after a day of not eating so I made myself a sandwich cause I knew I needed nutrients in my body. After ten minutes I had nausea and acid crawling up my throat. At this point I’m panicking cause nothing that I saw on help sites were working and I haven’t been able to sleep and my chest burns and my stomach wants to rebel, so I call my dad who has a decent amount of knowledge in the medical field and he suggested I might be gluten intolerant and since I had nothing to lose I tried it. Day after wasn’t any noticeable improvement but I hadn’t gotten worse which was a plus in my book. I could even eat the minor amount of food I could put in my mouth without feeling nauseous. Currently three to four days into not eating gluten and???? My acid reflux is now Manageable and I’m not tempted to puke my guts out eating more than a small handful of food or looking at a bright screen. Still extremely tired cause I haven’t been able to eat much and I still have to walk to work but... the fact that I’m improving has given me hope that I’ve actually found the cause of my distress.

Looked up the prices for GI doctors in the area and for new patients to get all the testing done that I want to to confirm its Celiacs its +$500 lol. So looks like I’m sticking with my supported hunch until I’m out of poverty.

[bondedtrauma]

SOFT HIATUS.

angel. hiiii i feel like it’s been forever ;w; i wanted to let everyone know that this blog isn’t abandoned or anything! i got really sick over the past two months to the point where i couldn’t eat anything, so i’ve been slowly ( but surely! ) recovering from it. my disordered eating quickly came back into full swing so i’ve been putting all of my focus into stopping it swiftly. while i’m getting my energy back slowly, i haven’t been on tumblr to say anything :c i will be back sometime this month! seki and elli are still very much active muses, i just haven’t had the will to do drafts/inbox/etc. i’m typically on mobile so i’ve seen all my notifs and im’s and i’ll start responding to those shortly!! tldr: don’t be like me and ignore ur health. i love u guys and miss u. i’ll be back asap!

[astraldrake]

sketch/wip/unfinished nonsense dump but there's context bcs why not under a cut because otherwise it'd be six miles long

these are some boss arena sketches for achilles the upper sketch is a rough map with a few specific symbols denoting the location of corpses and trees, as well as a few notes pointing to the starting location of the boss and the player entry of the arena. The lower sketch is a set of scenes taking place in different parts of the arena. The first depicts a character entering the arena, the second is the character approaching the boss, and the third is a shot of the boss, now awake. In this hypothetical setting (game? thing? i have no clue what to call this really), Achilles guards the path to felwinter peak, an optional area (although what is in said optional area i have yet to fully decide, i think he may just be guarding a friendly npc or something).

The idea is that you have to beat him to access the area beyond. The arena is full of the corpses of previous heroes who had challenged him. You find him stuck in a wall of ice that's blocking your path, but he wakes upon seeing you, and thus begins his bossfight. At half health he gets overtaken by corruption and switches from solar to stasis attacks.

boss design thing for darren. sticking with the theme for a moment. I figure even after you beat him he doesn't die, and after recovering somewhat actually ends up helping you out later on.

His thing in this setting is that he's essentially become so saturated with light that it's taken a toll on him (i toyed with giving him the title 'Light-lost' in reference to how his nature as a person has been 'lost' to the light. im being veeery subtle). It's eaten away at his memory and identity and when you initially start the fight he's amnesic and confused, he knows he has to kill you but can't remember why. Despite this he's still incredibly powerful, hurling bolts of lightning and and slashing at you with two massive swords. After you deplete his first healthbar, he self resurrects, beginning to remember more and more, and kicks off his phase 2. If you survive the hail of blades and fire, you knock him prone, at which point he recalls enough to switch tactics and will become friendly, offering his aid in exchange for you to stop trying to kill him.

Elden Ring, O Elden Ring. I just couldn't figure out what to do with the background on this one. Also, I was very disappointed to find out that there was nothing that let you get the bird wings the crucible knights have. I have decided my tarnished has them anyway because they look sick as hell. (also they match the scythe, so, yknow.)

Character expression practice. I had a few more of these but I think these two turned out the best. (some of the other ones looked kinda unsettling and wrong) So many part of a face squish around when you emote, and if you miss something then the whole thing looks off.

been watching a bloodborne playthrough again. Had some very- shall we say self indulgent, ideas about universe hopping, and one particular adoptive grandchild of Aerrhiks. (that phrase is gonna mean nothing to anyone whose never heard of my ocs but eh) first sketch is some hunter armor, second is a design for a baby great one version of them.

should probably state here that my favorite way of doing crossovers (although i dont often share them) basically amounts to picking up one (or several) of my ocs and just plopping them down into the setting in question. Let chaos ensue and all that jazz. It's fun to see how the ocs will respond to their new setting, as well as thinking about how the setting might react to them in turn. (I also acknowledge that this method usually ends up breaking the narrative/setting/themes/etc at least a little if not a lot, and is by all accounts kind of a stupid and unintelligent way to interact w/ the source material, but have you considered? it's fun.) Anyways yeah, tldr for these is that I considered unleashing Ash on yharnam for enrichment purposes. (and then thought way too much on how that might end.)

And that's all I have for tonight! I might do another one of these at some point with some older things i never got around to sharing/finishing. We'll see.

[kaijuconfessions]

im so sick of my parents im so sick of livng here im so sick of the house im so sick of always needing help with everything because my confidence has been crushed i have no actual lifeskills and i have no real life experience that would be helpful. i also kinda feel like mom is deliberately keeping me here for ome reason. like. tldr mom and dad were verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, emotionally neglectful, and just basic neglectful, in different flavours i got ignored a lot by my parents and immediate family, and i got bullied in shcool w no support whatsoever and i only just about 2 years ago got rid of the most debilitating parts of my ocd and im still recovering. and im stuck in a house i bought while i was so dissociated i was astral projecting into hell in broad daylight daily. its not the worst lifechoice ever but i literally cant afford to renovate it with my monthly 800-ish dollars (give or take im converting, diff country) that also go to groceries and food for me and the cats. and the leftover money from the loan was already used on fixing something really expensive we werent informed about at all before i bought it so its not like i can fix much else unless insurance says hey heres your money back. not to mention i cant really go anywhere. the house is almost an hour from any nearby city and i have to take a train just to buy groceries so its not like i can go to the library whenever i want or anythng like that. im more or less disabled, i only have so much energy, i dont wanna spend 4-8 hours just to buy milk dependingon what time of day i go. in summer theres no trains at all so im actually stuck at home unless i get a ride home. like sorry its more of a vent than a confession but it feels like mom and dad are trying to slowburn kill me. which isnt neccessarily true but how do i fucking know for sure. i cant go to school, i cant get a job, i cant go to therapy, i cant go anywhere, i dont have a car, i barely have money as bills and food take up most of it, i have to take a train to get to the city so grocery shopping takes either 3 hours or 8. i cant even go to the fcking library. i cant visit my grandmas. i cant make friends and i couldnt hang out with them if i did have any who the fuck wants to take a train for half an hour to visit me. i cant join a group at the local bakery or do stuff. my parents dont even fucking visit unless theyre gonna do something to the house and dad has visited three times since i moved in. like. it could be worse. but im stuck with nothing to do on a daily basis in a house i dont want and cant afford to fix but arent allowed by mom to sell, i cant figure out what to do with my life or how to get out of this and theres no support to be found anywhere, they dont call or text or even visit just to see me and im not even sure i want them to anymore. i spent the past year grieving my childhood and coming to terms witht he fact that im straight up not wanted by anyone. noone actually cares that i exist except sme online frends and my cats. it sometimes feels like im a bug they put a glass ove rand theyr just waiting for me to use up all the oxygen so they can throw me out instead of having to use a flyswatter themselves. i just wanna move out and get a place i actually like living in and can afford somwhere i can actually access shit i wanna do. and get therapy and make friends. instead of whatever the fuck it is im doing now.

[starglitterz]

important announcement!

tldr; i'm injured & so i won't be writing for a while but will still respond to asks (probably) :D

hi! so like i said yesterday, i'm not feeling well, and today that only went downhill LOL,,, basically i feel even worse </3

if ur wondering what tf is up why is quill the loser complaining on my dash, to summarise, i sprain my back easily due to a chronic injury, and that's what's happened now :) i'm basically in a lot of pain and find it rlly difficult to focus, and due to some childhood stuff im not going to get into i spiral very hard whenever i'm sick/injured because i don't like depending on/worrying others. overall i'm just in an awful headspace rn, but i'm trying my best to recover asap!

this is not to say that i'm going on hiatus or anything, i'm too addicted to this site to leave LMAO,,, but i'm aware that i haven't published anything in a hot minute, and the lack of writing will continue until i feel better. it might take about a month to heal, but the painful part should be over in abt a week which is when i'll start writing again! i'll reply to asks if i feel alright, and i'll prioritise the ebg ones to keep the game fair.

all of you please take care! ilysmmmm and dw i'll still be online 25/8! just not writing and i might not interact as much T_T so if i don't reply to you on discord/here it's because i genuinely don't have the energy to socialise properly and keep up being the super chaotic friendly image yk? i don't really wanna shatter that perspective of me that some of you may have :) ill still spam loads on my personal sideblog tho HAHA

ily all mwah, please take care and have an awesome day/night!! <3

[transmasc-slykinnie]

hey, im so so extremely sorry. this is a horrible situation, it makes me sick to know someone i was so friendly with was doing this. im so, SO sorry. ive been in the same exact situation as you, it hurts, its life changing and it feels like you will never be able to recover. just know that i promise you, you will be able to look past this and live happily. i hope life treats you kindly from now on and that you stay safe. you dont have to answer this but i just wanted to send a bit of support. it may be a bit difficult, but maybe look into therapy or if you are already in therapy, bring this up. if your therapist is actually a good one, all this should stay confidential so if you are afraid of guardians finding out you shouldnt have to worry. wishing the best for you<3

Thank you and im sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing better now/g

And about the therapy thing, not to get too personal but I might have to because I already told my therapist that she was my friend and kind of brought up what she's done and how I felt so confused and used but at the same time I cared and they just looked at me and said "is this another grooming situation?" (Not in a irritated way but a concerned way, just to clear that up) and that's when I started to be like "oh..😶" but still pushed it away and brushed it off. Also my therapist might lose their job if they kept that private and didn't tell my parents and I don't really want that considering I like my therapist and they've known me since I was like 12 so sbqksbaj

Tldr; I ramble too much, we'll see what happens and I'm greatful for tour support /g

[phosporo]

heya! a bit of an update since i’ve been gone a while lol

( tldr; im doin ok, recovering. will probably become more active during term break <3 i’ll keep making a3 stuff hehe )

been thinking of a lot of stuff, this month has been a particularly rough one for me. went to the hospital for a bit, academic stuff has been heavy too, so i didn’t really have time for personal art. then i found out abt the a3 en server news :( it sucks to see something i love get discontinued. a3 has been one of the things that kept me optimistic even if i was going through something tough, and the fandom it has is such a wonderful place. meeting so many people who enjoy the same thing as i do and getting to share my art with them is such a wonderful feeling. despite the bad news, i don’t think i’ll be leaving the fandom anytime soon. in other news, im still recovering from being sick so i don’t think i’ll be posting new stuff anytime soon. i do have some plans for an art raffle thing for a3 since my 1 year of playing is coming up soon, something to look forward to i guess, probably around this nov? (same time as my sem break i think)